I don't want to get old...the big 5 0 !

So I heard some good news from a few people, including my twin....we are NOT seniors until we are 55 years old.  Whewwwwww!! I was awake on Saturday morning (ok around 1am) when I realized I was an officia "senior" now that I am 50 years old.  The good news is...I got 5 more years to go!

Saturday was my 50th birthday.  Yeah, yeah, I"m a half century old. I'm an old bag. I'm an old lady.  I have very little gray hair (thank God!)  but the little I have scare the hell out of me. 

I just don't want to get old! I don't want to be old.  People keep telling me "I'm as old as I feel"- Ok let me just laugh ...physically I"m as old as a 90 year old even if mentally I'm young as a 25 year old.  And you know those two clash.  You just can''t get up to dance the rock n' roll like you can as a young chick when you feel like an old lady with a walker or worse a wheeel chair!   

My kneees hurt. My hips hurt. My ankles and feet hurt.  My shoulders hurt.  My elbows hurt and mostly, my brain hurts.  Yep- I'm old!  I'm a young chick in an old lady's body. 

I spent all day Saturday in bed-  crying.  Depressed.  I just hate my life.  then I got up and watched some movies and then I got up to start making dinner hoping that my birthday party that I was putting together was going off with no hitch.  But I kept getting messages from people that they couldn't come.  I was really getting made that people were making excuses.  But then Tammy said she was coming with the cheese cake and then Lea said they had a flat tired and didn't think they could come...until I offered them the ride. 

We had a nice spaghetti dinner with french bread, green beans with corn and salad.  Of course, Lea and I finished off with the Japaneese wine- Sake.  It was good.  We, of course, had the german chocalate cake I tried to make (oh my god, it was lopsided) pluse the New York cheese cake Tammy brought.  That was good! absolutely good! I just love Tammy.   She is so awesome to talk to...Lea too! 

I, of course, was still in a lot of pain.  I was feeling sick.  If no one was going to show up for the party, I was marching myself right into the ER.  The pain is just unbearable and now, its to painful to eat.  Its driving me nuts. 

Well...now I'm gonna liee back down and try to release pain...but I think you got the jift of my 50th Birthday.

Yah- I'm an old bad!  the big 5 0 !  I'm the half century old.  Its hard to believe that 30 years ago I was only 20 years old.

Where has all these years gone?  

Gosh...I'm old!