Sometimes I wonder how much pain Jesus had to bare when he was physicially and emotionally tortured by the Romans and then nailed to the cross. We all know men can't bare pain like women can. So it must had been a serious trauma to him all around. I can' stand watching the movie "The Passion" I think it is call because it triggers to many memories for me.
I never had that surgery in August so now I'm really suffering the consequences of it. I am been having alot of low back pain but it is now worse. I feel like I'm in labor again. It hurts to sit. It hurts to stand. It hurts to walk, it even hurts to be lying down. I have a prolapse uterus full of fibroid tumours, and now I have cysts on my ovaries. I am hurting so bad that even the pain medications are not doing anything.
I was at the doctors yesterday and told her that if she doesn't take this out real soon that I was going to do it. I don't think she took me serious. She knows I'm in extreme pain but for some reason she is all booked up for surgery and can't do anything until February. So I have another month of suffering.
The pain is triggering a lot of painful memories so I'm trying to stay positive but its really hard to. I just want this thing out like yesterday and I'm not sure what its gonnna take to get it out! I was in the ER on Monday and even they said it should be taken out real soon. I feel no one is really listening to me and my pain. Well they are but yet the pain medications are not doing anything anyhow. Its like really drug me before I find a knife and pull the thing out myself.
In about a week I'll be 50. yep...the big 5 0. OMG!!! there is no way I'm a half century old. Righ now my body feels older than that but I just don't want to get old. I can even see the gray hairs coming out but I think that is due to more stress then it is about age. lol know what I mean. But its time for hair coloring. I just don't want to be consider "old" no matter what anyone says.
I have more to say but right now the pain is beginning to wear on me again for sitting here even if I'm sitting on the sofa. SO......I'll try to come back adn write more. Not sure if anyone is reading my blogs anyhow. I'm learning to keep my trap shut as no matter what I say I seem to still get into trouble. Another topic I have to discuss.
Later...just need more drugs!
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A mom shares her journey through the lessons of life along with her spiritual journey- as a single parent and with a muscular dystrophy son.